God Finally Got My Attention & Prepared Me For When I'd Need Him Most

2023 was the year I found God. And what a year it has been.

I found God during one of my lowest times of physical and mental suffering. I found God through others who showed me LOVE. Because of the love I was given, I sought JESUS.

Since the summer, I have changed the way I live.

*I go to church every Sunday.

*I auditioned for my church's worship team and made it! I start serving in January. 

*I read the Bible.

*I read my devotional (Jesus Calling) daily.

*I pray.

*I teach and have conversations with my children (and husband) about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. 

*I listen to Christian music only (except for work).

*I listen to/watch Christian-based podcasts and YouTube videos. 

*I create safe and open conversations about God with family and friends, old and new.  

*I dress more modestly. 

*I stopped cursing (and if it slips, I repent).

*I help people more.

*I have more patience and kindness.

* I let go of my ego and pride. 

*I try to do everything and make decisions with God in mind.

I found peace in this newfound way of life. Little did I know that my Dad would pass away later this year. 

On either Thursday or Friday morning, November 23 or 24, my husband told me he had a dream that my Dad died. He was very upset about it, he said it felt so real. He was desperately trying to find a way to do this thing that my Dad wanted to do with us for a while now. He said, maybe we can do it Sunday morning. I said there is no way we can do that; don't worry, he's not going to die in the next 2 days. 

On Sunday evening, November 26th, my husband, 2 children, Mom and I went to my dad's condo to put up his table-top Christmas tree and some decorations. I won't get into the traumatic moment, but my husband discovered my Dad in his home, already gone. I now believe God was trying to warn my husband and I that my Dad was about to pass. 

The next 3 days were filled with planning a wake and funeral service with my mom and brother. We pulled together and successfully had the most beautiful services that we know my Dad would have loved. Family and friends came from near and far to show their love for my Dad and to support us. We spoke our heartfelt eulogies at the wake, we played recordings of my Dad singing the tunes of Sinatra in the background, readings and songs were carefully chosen and my brother and I joined forces to perform a communion hymn "Here I Am Lord" at the church, family took on meaningful roles during the church service, beautiful flowers were ordered and gifted, family shared stories of my Dad at the repast, and my husband and brother played the most beautiful rendition of "Taps" outside the church before our final farewell. It truly was a perfect way to say goodbye and celebrate my Dad's 75 years of life.

I've been wanting to find God for so many years, but could never figure out how. It always bothered me and I was lost. But I believe that this year, God came to me through very special people in my life because He knew I would need Him.  Earlier this year, God spoke to me over and over through these people; he was trying to get my attention so we could finally start our relationship and He could help me through some of the toughest times of my life this year, the most important one being, mourning my Dad's death. 

I used to be afraid that my parents' death would destroy me. Right now, I am sad, my heart feels like there's a hole in it. I miss my Dad so much and I don't like that he left us suddenly, but I also know that he was physically suffering 24/7 for a long time and he was ready to leave life here on Earth. I am not destroyed; my heart hurts, but I am comforted knowing that he is with God in Heaven, a much better and more beautiful place than this broken world. However, despite the brokenness, I am so thankful for the love, support and beauty that was shown to me in every single human that has been there for me and my family. The Holy Spirit is in all of us, and my hope is that everyone recognizes that and finds God in their own special way.